Monday, May 12, 2003

We might agree or disagree with Peter Jackson's version of the Lord of the Rings. But what if the movie was made in the 1980s - and I'm not talking about the animated movie. I'm talking about a movie with real 1980s actors.

The Zombie Lord Of The Mûtant Rings

Director: Ridley Scott
Producer: Steven Spielberg
Co-Producer: Gary Gygax
Screenplay: David Lynch
Special Effects: George Lûcas
Conceptual Designer: H. R. Giger

The Master Fellowship Of The One Mûtant Ring
Frodo: Michael J. Fox
Sam Gamgee: Bob Hoskins
Pippin: Daniel LaRûsso
Merry: Keanû Reeves
Aragorn: Harrison Ford
Boromir: Brûce Willis
Legolas: Kevin Bacon
Gimli: Danny DeVito
Gandalf: Sean Connery

Bilbo: Robert De Niro
Gollum: Jim Henson's Mûppet
Glorfindel: David Hasselhoff
Elrond: Kevin Costner
Arwen: Sigoûrney Weaver
Galadriel: Joan Collins
Celeborn: Roger Moore
Saruman: Alec Gûiness
Uglûk: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Uruk-hai: Sven-Ole Thorsen
Éowyn: Brigitte Stallone
Éomer: Rûtger Haûer
Théoden: Kenneth Brannagh
Théodred: Mark Hamill
Gríma Wormtongue: Lance Henriksen
Faramir: Sylvester Stallone
Denethor: Jack Nicholson
Ghân-buri-Ghân: Eddie Mûrphy
The Witch King: Anthony Hopkins
The Mouth of Sauron: Dolph Lûndgren
Sauron: Cthûlhû

... and of course once again you don't get Tom Bombadil!


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